People who work with families and couples know the damage which clashing personalities can cause. Certified Behavioral Consultants know DISC well as a tool which provides valuable expertise for navigating these clashes, especially when they result in misunderstandings. Relationships require each party to make communication a priority, and communication extends beyond the words people say to each other and into non-verbal cues and body language. Using DISC, anybody can learn more not only about communication but also about interpreting what is said between the lines.
Diffusing heated issues with a “D” can feel intimidating because of the “D’s” reputation of being direct and even blunt, which could be interpreted as offensive. Certain personality styles, including “S,” are especially sensitive to these types of circumstances.
Even in terms of romance and dating, “D” personalities are all about results. They want to know where the relationship is going, and they don’t want to be stuck in a relationship that seems to be going nowhere. For this reason, “D’s” sometimes set unwritten rules for the relationship, perhaps without the knowledge of the other person. Unfortunately, doing so can lead to conflicts and hurt feelings.
“D” types often struggle to accept the viewpoints of others, and they may need to learn to compromise as a way to navigate arguments. This is easier for people who learn not to take themselves so seriously and those who learn to make requests rather than demands.
When communicating with a “D,” it is a good to speak with a non-judgmental attitude while discussing one’s needs. “D’s” don’t like to guess about the needs and desires of their loved ones, but these needs should be communicated clearly.
An “I” seeks approval and enjoys excitement in a relationship. To improve a relationship with an “I,” it is important to ensure them positive attention and many shared moments to provide the romance they seek.
One way “I” styles often need to adapt to relationship issues is to pay attention to their partner’s genuine feelings and spend less time offering compliments. Over time, the compliments can feel non-genuine.
One of the biggest conflicts an “I” might have is difficulty understanding the needs of others to have quiet time alone. “I” styles may struggle to understands the needs of their partners, so clear communication is crucial to avoid prompting the other person to misunderstand the circumstances.
“I” personalities also benefit from working together toward small changes rather than large ones. Other personality types can meet an “I” halfway by creating a mix of planned and spontaneous activities, both of which make “I’s” happy and encourage them to grow.
While “S” personalities have a reputation for being cooperative and accommodating, they can have misunderstandings with their loved ones just as easily as anybody else. Often, misunderstandings develop from the “S” not voicing their own opinions and thoughts. They often defer to the wishes of their partners, which can lead to feelings of dependence, resentment or feeling forgotten.
An “S” type usually wants to know the rules of a relationship, and they may be stuck in thinking about the progress of a relationship in steps. The typical “S” wants to avoid stressful relationships, and knowing the next steps can feel comforting.
One way an “S” can reduce conflict in relationships is by learning how to say no and how to reduce the tendency to service and depend on others. Essentially, “S” styles must learn to become more assertive. Relationship partners can help facilitate and develop these skills by asking questions and getting to the root of an “S’s” feelings.
One of the main features of the “C” personality is they seek acknowledgement and recognition. They may get into misunderstandings or arguments with other personality styles based on the desire to proceed with caution and to be objective. They may disregard emotion at times for the sake of logic, which can put off their loved ones.
A “C” struggles with accepting that others are not exactly like them, and many arguments could come from trying to change others. Rather than focusing on this, “C’s” should focus on giving sincere compliments and putting more stock into the emotional components of building a relationship.
Another way to reduce conflict with a “C” is to focus on the reality of human errors. “C” personalities can overanalyze interactions, including their own communications. They can easily get stuck on feelings of inadequacy or even on small mistakes made by others.
In interacting with “C’s,” others can behave more directly to avoid conflict and arguments. Verbalizing their feelings rather than forcing a “C” to guess is crucial.
Need a deeper insight into your relationship dynamics? Check the PeopleKeys’ 4D Report, combining DISC, TEAMS, Values and Behavioral Attitudes as it will shed light on communication preferences, thinking style, values and motivations. Counselors, therapists, and coaches can benefit from using this tool to determine the relationship goals and needs of each client. With DISC resources, professionals can help their clients gain new levels of understanding into their partners, peers and family members.